#i am so happy to have this problem but also i still have no idea who my starting character will be

[lightlycareless]

I have a fluffy idea for you! What if Naoya and Y/N had gotten in a fight/argument that’s left them upset with each other but maybe it happened in front of the kids or they eavesdropped. And maybe they’ve never seen them this upset with each other so the kids worry that they might get divorced(after that one fic about death you posted, I wouldn’t be surprised if Naoaki got this in their heads too or maybe that’s too far for him even) so the kids make a plan to make Naoya and Y/N make up

Helloooooo!!

Aww this was really cute to read 🥺 as twisted as that might sound since I never enjoyed the idea of the kids seeing their parents upset lol. Still, didn't stop me from writing a lil something I hope y'all enjoy!!

Also, because of fluff, we have to remove Naoaki of the formula but believe me it would NOT be below him to tell them ugly things about their parents 😡 he'd probably go on saying things like "Oh, no... they're going to divorce now!!) .I.

btw... I am unsure of what fic you mean but I'll tag this one just to be sure 🙈 I'm sorry.

Anyways, here are the warnings: none. fluff. you and naoya are married and have 4 kids hahahahahahahhahaha a tiny bit of angst, there was an argument after all.

Happy reading!

Arguments between the two most of the time, if not always, consist with you not agreeing to something Naoya’s family demands, and his subsequent inaction to do something about it.

You try to be understanding of his situation, it sucks to be the child of a family that is always looking for their personal benefit, careless how it affects others… but just how much are you be able to excuse before it becomes too much? Before it begins to affect your family?

How much are you willing to tolerate… in the name of the love you have for Naoya?

There were limits to your patience, and once the little things began to bundle up, you snapped.

“Fine! If that’s how it’s going to be, then… then I guess I—I don’t have anything to do here!” you cry, tears in the corner of your eyes as you swiftly turned around and exited the room, leaving behind a frustrated Naoya, too angered to do anything else but stare at your distancing figure, as well as the disheartened children who had unfortunately caught wind of their argument.

The two always made sure to keep discussions out of their earshot, your problems shouldn’t become their burden… however, maybe because it was a heat of a moment kind of thing that led to this oversight, or perhaps you were too loud, they now went through the misfortune of seeing this.

Their father soon attempted to ease their worries.

“It was just an argument; your mama and I had these before.” Naoya explains. “We’ll be fine.”

“I never seen mom this angry before.” Naomi adds.

“Or angry at all…” Naori adds. “With you, I mean.”

Naoya sighs. Well, he didn’t know whether to be impressed by your diligence or upset that it crumbled today.

“Do you hate mama now?” Naoko dared ask, and Naoya’s eyes snap wide open.

“What? No. I don’t hate her. We just had a disagreement!”

But your consistent ignorance of the bouquet of roses and boxes of mochi he got you right after cooling down, hoping to strike a peace treaty and leave all this behind, started to indicate otherwise.

Your interactions, or lack of, grew more and more prominent…

Yet, it wasn’t until your refusal to sleep in the same bed as him (as if having your meals separately weren’t enough) was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

And ultimately, the ones hurting the most were your children.

Whom at the unfamiliarity of their parent’s differences, decided to make finding a solution their utmost priority, be the ones in charge of saving their family which at a larger scale was like saving the world. For them, at least.

“We have to help them.” Naoko suggested to the council, as Naori named it so. “Before it gets too late!”

“It must’ve been pretty serious if mama isn’t talking to papa anymore…” Naoyuki added. “Does she hate her now?”

“No.” Naomi firmly assessed. Because it’s not the first time she’s questioned this herself, nor the first time she sees them not getting along (which may or may not influenced her perception about her father…)

But it is the first time she’d ever seen her mother so upset. Enough for you to deny it when confronted about it, and you’ve always been transparent when it comes to emotions and how sometimes not everything goes as expected!!

To make matters worse, her aunties aren’t any better, as if sworn absolute secrecy and loyalty towards you, your staff had made it their life mission to avoid all her questions, even going as far as acting like it was all in her imagination.

“Your mom is just busy, that’s all! You know how the life is here at the estate… always chaotic.” Mariya shrugs her worries away.

If Naomi had been 5 years old, maybe she would’ve believed her.

However, her options were far from running out, and when one proved to be inadequate, she simply went onto the next, to the only other person she knew she could trust with her life��your side of the family, her grandfather.

The overbearing grandpa who was always ready to jump into action if need be, yet careful enough to not disclose too much and eventually cause more harm than good. Naomi could see it in her parents’ exhaustion that, as much as they enjoyed his company, he was… quite something.

“Naomi-nee… what if our parents divorce?” Naori dared wonder in the dead of night, in her room after everyone went to sleep. As the eldest, Naomi was the voice of reason amongst all the siblings, but she was always closer to her immediate younger brother—she doesn’t recall ever being so excited to be an older sister than the time she was to become one for the first time. “I… I don’t want them to separate.”

“They won’t, Naori.”

“But I’ve never seen them so upset… do you think mama hates papa now?”

Never. Of course not. You wouldn’t put up with someone as peculiar as her father if you didn’t.

…

And her father wouldn’t try his hardest to make you happy if he didn’t love you either.

A meeting with her grandfather was long overdue.

“Oh, Naomi… how long have they been like this?” Eiichi laments, imagining how distraught his grandchildren must be because of this situation. But of course, never leaving you out of his mind, equally worried about the mental state you must be in to have done such a thing.

Extending over to Naoya as well, the young man whom he once thought as the worst option for a husband for his lovely daughter—but now, a marriage and 4 children later, that is no longer the case. Naoya has proven to be a good man, someone he could trust with taking care of one of his most precious, and the recipient of his concerns as well.

“For a week now… and it doesn’t seem like it’s getting any better.” Naomi responds. “I need your help, jiji. I want them to make up already before they decide… maybe to—”

“They won’t do anything harsh.” Eiichi reassures her. He knows his daughter; he knows his in-law. They’d rather go through the nine circles of hell than live without the other.

Still, this is a problem that undoubtedly needs attention, for bottled issues lead to even bigger problems in the future, and as a widowed man, the last thing he wants is seeing his daughter live with regret towards her husband.

“Then what do I do?” Naomi asks.

“It’s not really your responsibility to do so, Naomi. But, if you must…”

Remembering the special moments of this relationship is a nice way to start, like what made you decide you wanted to spend the rest of your life with Naoya.

So, after extensive consideration and careful planification, Naomi and the rest of her siblings decide to pester their parents into going to the fair that’s set up this time of year in the city, with all the games and food anyone could enjoy to their hearts delight—the perfect escape from the mundane, repetitive everyday life of the estate.

You were initially against it, and not because you didn’t want to take them (going to the fair sounded delightful) but rather because they insisted so much on bringing Naoya along, which you had yet to make amends with him, and the last thing you wanted was to make things uncomfortable.

But you knew better than to resist your children, and so, you’ve saved the date for Saturday.

“Come on mama, we’re going to be late!” Naoyuki gasped, tugging at your sleeve with such unparalleled enthusiasm you couldn’t help but smile. “We have to get there before it gets too crowded!”

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” you chuckle, letting your youngest guide you towards the exit, where a car was already on standby by the servants. Naoya had gotten a bigger car to accommodate his quickly growing family not so long ago, though unfortunately it’s not used as frequently as you would’ve liked—mainly because you weren’t comfortable driving such a big car, not without Naoya anyways... and because it’s rare that all of you go out together.

Between Naomi’s school life, your growing responsibilities the older Naobito becomes, and Naoya’s availability… yeah. What a waste.

“I hope you brought a sweater, honey. It’s going to be quite cold out there.”

“I did, mama.” He says. “I always do, Naoko doesn’t though…”

“That’s not true!” She cries back. “You’re the one that doesn’t bring one, I always have to share mine!”

“There’s no need to fight over that. dumpling” You smile. “I just need to make sure the two brought something warm to wear later on.”

“I checked if they brought something too.” Naomi adds. “So don’t worry about that, they did.”

“Thank you, pumpkin.” You say. “But it’s your siblings’ responsibility to do that… right?”

The kids nod, Naomi shrugs.

“…what about you, my love? Have you brought something warm?” Naoya suddenly asks, seizing this moment to hopefully get an interaction from you; but you simply dismiss him with a curt hum, followed by a low yes before returning to your children and helping them onto the car.

Your husband pressed his lips together in disappointment before and getting to the driver’s seat, a sight that the children could only take in with great sadness and worry, doubting if their nee-san’s plan even had a purpose.

“It’s too early for that.” Naomi comforts them. “But trust me, it’ll work.”

… she just hopes she isn’t wrong.

“What is the plan?” you murmured, trying to not get overwhelmed by the vast amount of food, games, and all in between to be found from one corner to the other. Wherever you looked, there was not a single spot that wasn’t set up to offer a good time or at least get money out of your pocket.

Well, at least your children will be thoroughly entertained, though they had another goal in mind:

«Remember, we have to make it as casual as possible. Not make anything that might look suspicious!!»

With Naomi’s cautionary words in mind, the children made haste for their attempt of stealthiness, comparable to their father when out working with curses and such—they had it in their blood after all, all they set their mind to is easily achievable.

“Let’s go here first, mama!” Naoko pointed to a nearby stand, a game that consisted of gathering points by throwing hoops. The little girl did her best to score the highest, but in the end, she barely got one.

Luckily, she was not too distraught by that fact, for she knew there was a solution to it. Or perhaps it was all part of her plan?

“Mama, tell papa to win me a prize!” she quickly demands, tugging at your yukata and pulling you towards her dad. “Pleaseeeee?”

“Ah, well, pudding, I’m sure you could tell him—”

“He can win something for mom too, you know?” Naomi suggested, and through the corner of her eye she swears seeing her father get excited at the notion, the briefest opportunity to talk to his wife and make her happy through a silly plushie…

Only to dim the light in his eye when you shake your head, saying:

“No, it’s ok. it’s not necessary, I’m fine just watching.”

Naomi sighs. She didn’t like the idea of taking a harsher approach but your attitude and her dad’s unwillingness to step up too has her reconsidering.

She didn’t want to employ this so soon, but if she must…

“I want to go on the Ferris wheel.” Naomi suddenly declares.

“Don’t you want to try out some of the games first?” You ask, somehow a bit… unsettled by her request. The reason? Only you will know.

“No, right now is perfect; if we wait a little longer there’ll be a long queue.” She explains. “And I don’t want to wait.”

“Makes sense… sure; let’s go. Anyone else wants to go?” you look at your children, they all nod.

“I think all of us.” Naomi responded. “But I’m not sure if we all fit in the same pod...”

“I’m sure we can arrange something so none of the kids are alone, how about I go with Naoyuki and Naoko, and your papa goes with Naomi and Naori?”

“But I want to go with you, mom.” Naori whines.

“Yeah, me too.” Naomi adds. “No offense, dad.”

“I’ll sit this one out, then.” Naoya responds.

“Ah, no, that’s not fair either.” Naomi frowns—she’s not about to let her father ruin this too! “We all go, or no one does.”

Naoya raises an eyebrow; since when did his little girl become so bold? Ah, he sure misses the days where she’d happily go along with whatever her parents said… but at the same time, he was glad to see the sturdy young woman, that will not take any garbage thrown at her, she had become.

“Fine, I’ll go.” Naoya says, and the family heads over to the ride, but not without him gesturing the kids to go in front of them of course, which Naomi did not agree with, not if her plan was to unfold appropriately… thankfully, she had her sibling’s loyalty to rely on, which she did not hesitate to exploit.

“Kids…” You warned, trying to take hold of one of your children but they only seemed to do what you told them not to even more! Just as… well, not really. They were always obedient. What’s gotten into them? “I need you to stand before me, please. Or we won’t go.”

“Don’t worry mom, I got it.” Naomi reassures, making you sigh. Always the reliable one, you’re glad that your daughter is someone you can trust when support is needed, though you’re not happy at the fact she seemed to have more authority than you over her siblings. Ah, but if you only knew what she was planning. “You and dad go on; I’ll get my siblings to join soon.”

Wholeheartedly expecting to see just that: your kids waiting for you to get ready before helping them up—

But the moment you and Naoya were inside, the door was firmly shut, and the ride set in motion! The employee simply doing what he was bribed into after getting a taste of the Zen’in fortune by your eldest, ensuing an exasperated, rightfully furious set of parents that quickly demanded the door to be open, less he wished to suffer the consequences.

“Hey, I’m talking to you, bastard!” Naoya fumed, still debating whether to use his technique to break free, and bring along even more severe problems, such as endangering you and everyone around… or not. He chose not to. “Open this door, now!”

“Naoya—the kids, they’re—” you fret, all kinds of horrible scenarios crossing through your mind as you glanced out the window and down to them: anticipating finding them equally distraught by this occurrence, tears soaking their cheeks as they cried to be reunited with their parents—

Only to be shocked at their reactions, not only different to what you expected, but the vast opposite!

Naomi, Naori, Naoko, and Naoyuki bearing bright smiles on their faces while waving goodbye to you and Naoya, in such optimistic matter that you could only assume was intentional.

You didn’t know whether to be elated they were far away from any immediate danger or be angry to have pulled something like this!

“Have fun!!” Naomi cheers when the two start going up.

But when you were still debating, Naoya had long set his mind.

“I’m giving all of them a piece of my mind once we get down.” Naoya warned, no one was to escape a much-deserved reprimand; though a bit harsher on the employee than with his own kids.

Until then, however. the two were forced to remain in this situation that grew quickly familiar the higher you went, culminating at the very top where each pod would have a few seconds to rejoice the view of the city at night.

The exact same situation Naoya and you found themselves many years ago, when you first—

“Are you cold?” Naoya suddenly asks, and you blink out of your thoughts, completely unprepared for his approach.

But who are you trying to fool? Naoya has been nothing but insistent when it came to reaching out to you; if anything, it should’ve been obvious he’d do so again. Perhaps your reaction stemmed more from the fact he still tried.

Even after all your rejections, he still tries.

Will this occasion be any different?

“No, I’m… fine.” You murmur, it was impossible considering all the layers underneath your kimono. “You?”

“I’m good.” He responds. Though the conversation runs ironically cold, with the two continuing to mindlessly look anywhere else but at each other.

While fidgeting at the edges of your sleeve, you try to push away the thought of that wonderful moment out of your mind. You’re probably the only one that’s thinking about it, and it would be in bad taste to bring it up after all you’ve done.

Unless he were to do it.

“This is where we shared our first kiss, wasn’t it?” Naoya notes, still gazing out the horizon. “Under the guise of wanting to enjoy the fair, you took me to the Ferris wheel and kissed me.

…

…

…

I didn’t expect you to do it, you know? I genuinely believed were just hanging out, that you only wanted to show your gratitude after I helped you out with school and some missions—the fair seemed to be the right place for it.”

You swallow, followed by a few seconds of silence that made Naoya believe you weren’t to respond, as usual, until you did.

“…That was my intention.” You slowly explain. “At least until we got here.”

“What made you change your mind?” he wonders, taken aback by this sudden, new side of the story he fondly guarded in his heart.

“I… I guess I just got overwhelmed by everything. How beautiful the city looked at night, the two of us alone, up here… and the sentiments I’ve begun to have for you after all you’ve done for me.” You confess. “I don’t know how else to explain it. I guess my heart simply… needed to do it.”

“Don’t be coy, now. You just couldn’t resist me, could you?” Naoya teases, looking at you. You blush.

“No. I guess I couldn’t.” you murmur, glancing back at him. Flustered, but mostly out of shame. Pressing your trembling lips together, you once again do what your heart demands you to.

“… I’m sorry, Naoya—for… for the horrible way I’ve been acting.” You sniveled, Naoya’s eyes widened.

“Y/N…”  He leans closer, hoping to be near enough to comfort you once the tears in your eyes threaten to fall. “I tried approaching you, make things up, but… you just kept rejecting me. Why?”

“Because I…I was ashamed.” You confess, he blinks. “I treated you horribly, spoke ill behind your back, Naoya—and the—the longer it went on, the more I felt terrible about myself. I simply couldn’t approach you. How—how could I ever look at you again after all that?”

Naoya won’t deny that your admission hurt him deeply. To hear you openly question why you even married him is a strike that reopened many of his old wounds.

But being here again, in the same exact moment that made you fall in love even more with Naoya, that you couldn’t help but pour your heart out of fear of him not feeling the same way for you anymore after all the times you’ve rejected him.

Or worse, that he had already moved on to someone else, the mere thought enough to make you delirious with sadness—

You never wanted anyone else so much in your life as you do now for him.

So how did you even dare question your relationship with him?

Had he been dreadful as a partner? Given you any indications of a poor parentage towards your kids?

No. Of course not. Never.

Naoya was, and is, the love of your life. The man of your dreams and the only person you wished to spend the rest of your days with. You will never look for anyone else if it’s not him.

It’s just that sometimes… the two might say things neither truly mean. You’re both human, after all. Emotional beings so heavily intertwined with one another; it made every little interaction far more intense.

Like your love.

“I didn’t know how to—how to make amends. I shouldn’t have said what I did but… I just… I didn’t know how to make it stop.” You continue. “So, I just foolishly kept on acting like that…hoping it would just stop.”

“You know, a simple smile from you would’ve been enough for me to forget everything.”

“This is serious, Naoya.” You refute. “I acted like a child—how could you…”

“I know, I know.” He chuckles. “But I’m not angry, not anymore that is. I’m just happy that my wife is talking to me again.”

Your lip trembles, gasping at the way his words made you feel.

“I never stopped loving you.” Naoya murmurs, leaning closer to you, up to the point where his face was simply mere inches away from you. “Nor did I ever feel anything else that wasn’t complete adoration for you during these days we were apart.”

“Even when we stopped sleeping in the same bed? Or eating at the same table?” you wonder. “Not even then did your love dwindle?”

“Well, I might’ve felt a bit resentful that I didn’t have my warm adorable mochi to cuddle with.” he says, carefully placing his arm around your waist and pulling you even closer to him. “Or my wife to talk to after a long day of work… but as I said, those things fail to matter in time when all I wanted was to see you happy again.”

“I wouldn’t have married you if I didn’t know you’d be a good partner and father.” You murmur. “How… how can I make it up to you?”

“I know a way you can do just that.” He teases, you blush. “But I’ll settle for something better.”

“What?”

“How about a kiss? For old times’ sake.” He suggests with a sly smirk. “Since it’s been so long, it might as well be just like the first time.”

Your eyes widen before giggling.

“What?”

“Nothing, I guess I’m glad to see you’re just as silly as ever.”

And without anything else to say, you finally close the distance between the two by softly pressing your lips onto his, just like you did all those years ago.

But instead of pouring out your newfound love, which still lives, through the form of 4 lovely children, you give him a bittersweet kiss that signified your regret, and your desire to move past this situation, to return to your husband’s arms every night and bask in his adoration.

Which he was more than glad to commit, given the way he placed his hand over your head and pulled you even closer—almost as if he were afraid of losing you the moment this kiss ended, unwilling to do so again.

Yet deep within his heart, he knew that after today, it won’t happen. Never, in fact.

“You’re sweet as ever, too.” Naoya murmurs once freeing your lips of his relentless grasp, cupping your face soon after and wiping your tears. “My spoiled princess.”

“I’m not…” you sigh, succumbing to his words. You might as well give him this small victory after all you made him go through. “Fine.”

“There she is, my bratty mochi.” He continues to tease you, pressing your cheeks together into a pout and pecking your lips once again. “My beautiful, darling mochi.”

“You’re lucky that your handsome.” You tease back, Naoya laughs.

“Really so?” he says. “I believe my true charm comes beyond my good looks.”

“It does.” You reassure him, giving him one last kiss as the ride begins to descend. “It’s always been more than that.”

Waiting by the sideline, your children anxiously glued their eyes to your pod in anticipation of results. Of the reassurance that their plans had ultimately worked and their parents returned to their usual, loving ways… if not, prepare themselves for a stage in their lives they all knew would loathe, impossible to recuperate from as they see their family crumble.

Thankfully, the sight of you smiling, a bright streak of red across your face as you allowed your husband to help you down the ride quickly struck those awful thoughts out of their mind, rushing to their parents side as they demanded one last vocal confirmation of your forgiveness, just to be sure.

Their bright, big teary eyes inspire you to kneel to their level, taking them into your arms, before doing so.

“I think we owe you an apology for involving you in our issues, and for the way I’ve been behaving. It was never your responsibility to look after us… but you still did, all of you. Thank you.” You say, looking over to Naomi whom you had no doubt was the leader of the whole thing. Her sudden interest in visiting her grandfather suddenly made sense—still, you were proud of the fact that she knew how and where to act. Oh, she’s not a baby anymore, is she? “We couldn’t have asked for better children.”

“Does it mean you still love each other?” Naoyuki asked.

“You won’t get divorced… right?” Naoko adds, Naoya scowls.

“Never. Who even mentioned anything about a divorce?” It was such an awful word to him, he would completely barren it from their vocabulary if possible. But he can’t, so instead, he’ll reassure them that it would never happen—as many times as they need. “Your mama and I love each other very much; it’ll take a whole lot for her to get rid of me.”

You chuckle.

“Really?” Naori’s eyes brighten, diving deeper into your embrace. “I’m so happy!”

“Does this mean we’ll finally enjoy the fair as a family, like we should’ve?” Naomi asks, your grin widens.

“Yeah. We will—but only if your papa goes on the rollercoaster with me! Do you know that he’s quite afraid of them? I had to bride him a few times before just to get him to ride with me!”

“That’s not true, not at all!” Naoya gasps. “You’re the one screaming all the time…”

“Of excitement! Not fear.” You jest back. “Come on now, don’t tell me you’re still scared?”

The children laugh, Naoya quickly grows red as a tomato.

While Naomi, contrary to the usual embarrassment she would’ve gotten at these very humiliating displays, doing her best to cower from the public view, smiles. Glad to see that her parents were back on their obnoxious nature—

Their overburdening, quite uncomfortable, yet ultimately endearing behavior Naomi wouldn’t want to change for anything in the world.

She’ll have plenty of other occasions to cringe at her parents, for now, she just wants to be happy.

Like she once was when nothing short of a child.

Naomi to the rescue 👉👈 as the oldest, she feels burdened to keep her family together. I don't like that, because it shows some degree of carelessness in Y/N and Naoya, but she's driven by her caring nature to do what she must to protect her loved ones—if you didn't want those traits on her then maybe you shouldn't have married a stubborn man like Naoya lol.

I don't have anything else to say except that I'm going to write that first kiss :) It's like one of the many variations of it lol. Of course, in the high school au. I already have it set up, it's just a matter of getting down to actually write it 🙈

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed reading this!! I do love it when I get asks with fluff + the kids 🥹❤️❤️❤️ Thank you so much.

Now, take care and hope to see you soon!

p.s. naomi feeling like a child at that one last sentence makes me all warm inside 🥺😭 it's like she's my firstborn lmao. maybe she is.

[tiedyeflannels]

Never Let You Go

Park Jimin x reader

Word Count: 1.4k

Pt.1 | Pt. 2 | Pt. 3 -- Masterlist

Genre: Angst to fluff

A/N: Yo! Not gonna lie, I thought this was going to be the last part, but I guess there'll be one more! Haha! Anyways... Enjoy!

“Hey, Chim! Though it’s the 12th here, it’s technically your birthday back home, so… Happy Birthday! I hope you’re doing well. Sorry I can’t be there for your birthday, but I did get you a gift so make sure to ask Hobi about that, lol! Anyways, stay safe and healthy. I love you!” Sent 8:07 am, October 12th, 2022.

“Congratulations on your Billboard #1!! I am so, incredibly proud of you!! I remember being with you when you were working on the album and all of those sleepless nights you spent in the studio and I’m so glad that your hard work is being recognized the way it should be! I also saw a performance of your’s and you looked so cool! I’ll be rooting for you, fighting!!” Sent 12:42 pm, May 1st, 2023.

“Hey, I thought that I would send you message before you go into the military. I know you guys were dreading it, but it’ll pass in no time, so keep you’re head up! I texted the others to wish them luck in their service, too. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to be there to see you off, but I’ll see you soon! Be safe, stay healthy, and do your best, which I know you always do! Good luck!” Sent 10:48 am, December 10th, 2023.

“Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, Jimin! I hope you’re well. How’s life been treating you so far? Are you excited for the new year? I been doing well over here. I definitely am a little homesick, but I’ve made some really nice friends over the year so it’s been fun. I’ve talked to the other and they said that you’ve been doing well so that’s a relief to hear, but I’d love to hear from you. I’ll be here for you, just send a text, okay? Miss you lots…” Sent 11:11 pm, January 2nd, 2024.

“Hey, Jimin. Uh… I’ll be coming home in a week. I’m excited to see you guys! I-”

I stopped typing I looked at the last text I sent.

“I miss you…" Sent December 25, 2024”.

It  had been a week since I sent that and it was still unread. I scrolled through all of the texts I sent throughout the two years since we had the argument and I had moved, making me heavily sigh. 

I deleted what I was writing, figuring that I was starting to loss the energy to keep this up. I sat up and shook my head as I went back to packing my apartment up before going back home early next week. I really can’t believe him…

~

“Dude. I just got off the plane. I’m on my way to grab my bag. What do you need because you called me six times,” I asked as I approached the luggage carousel as bags started to appear.

“Oh, nothing! I just wanted talk to you,” Jin said happily and I could practically hear the smile in his voice. 

I quietly chuckled and shook my head as I watched others take their luggage and waited to see my suitcase.

“Anyway, we sent a car over to pick you up from the airport, so be on the lookout for our driver, okay?”

I nodded, though he couldn’t see me and approached the carousel once I saw my bag making its round. 

“That’s sweet, thanks- hold on,” I said, sliding my phone in my coat pocket before getting hold of the suitcase handle and hauling it out of the carousel. Standing it up and pulling the handle up, I started to walk toward the ‘ground transport’ area.

“Anyway, thank you! You didn’t have to do that. I could have ridden the bus home.”

“It was no problem at all! Actually Hobi wanted to make sure you got home safe, so the idea was mainly his.”

I smiled at the concern.

“Aww! Then I’ll make sure to thank him when I get home.”

I followed the crowd as I neared the doors and saw the line of cars outside. I looked around the area to see if I could spot their driver, Mr. Choi, and a man holding a sign with my name written on it with Hobi’s handwriting. I laughed at how unreadable it was, but approached him nonetheless.

Mr. Choi bowed in greeting as I smiled and he led me outside to where the car was stationed. “I should let you go. I found you driver and I’ll be heading home. I’ll stop by to see you you and Hobi tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay! See you soon, bye~” Jin sang before he hung up.

We approached the car and Mr. Choi grabbed my bag to put in the back as the side door of the black van opened and I got in and took a seat on the left side, behind the driver’s seat.

Once situated and Mr. Choi started the car, I turned on my phone and opened Hobi’s contacted as I started typing a ‘thank you’ for sending a car to get me before a voice in the front seat interrupted me.

“So, how was your trip?”

My head shot up as I saw Jin back with a smirk on his face.

I gasped, “You came to pick me up!?” I brought my hands up to cover my mouth in surprise while he laughed and nodded.

“Yeah… I wasn’t the only one that wanted to see you…”

He glanced to the side and raised his eyebrows, hinting at something. My brows furrowed before I heard a happy “Hey, Y/n” from the back seat, making me whip my head at the voice to see Hobi sitting behind me. 

“Hobi,” I happily squealed as he made his way forward and into the seat next to mine. I reached over and gave him an excited hug, happy that two of my friends came to pick me up.

“I was just going to text you! How are you guys?”

Hobi buckled him self in as the car started to move, “Good! We wanted to come surprise you.” 

I smiled, looking between both of them, “Thank you, that’s sweet! How was that military, by the way?”

They both groaned, which made me chuckled as it reminded me how much the dreaded enlisting.

“Ugh! It was boring and I couldn’t do anything I wanted,” Jin whined.

“Yeah, and I missed the members and ARMY,” Hobi agreed and I nodded. 

“Well, you certainly didn’t change at all,” I said.

“Of course we wouldn’t. It was just work we needed to do, but you,” Jin drawed out, pointing a finger at me and gestured to my hair, “Certainly have!”

“Yeah, you look different,” Hobi joined. I playfully rolled my eyes, “It’s just a different hair cut, guys. It’s nothing.” 

Jin hummed skeptical, “Was this little decision because of a certain someone?”

Knowing he was talking about Jimin, I sighed and fell back in my seat, “No. It was just something I wanted to try out.”

Hobi’s eyes softened as he looked at me, “Did you ever get to talk to him about what happened?”

I looked down at my hands resting on my lap and sadly shook my head. “No,” I sighed, thinking of everything I did trying to get him to talk to me. “Looking back, I, maybe, tried too hard to get him to talk to me.”

“He wouldn’t talk to us about the situation either,” Hobi, stated as he sunk into his seat.

Jin crossed his arms and disappointedly shook his head in the front seat, “Yeah. He wouldn’t budge anytime one of brought up that he should, at least, talk about what happened.” 

A sad smile graced my lips briefly before I rolled my eyes, emotionally exhausted by this whole situation.

“Maybe I should've given up the first time he said that we were over,” I mumbled as I turned to look outside the window and watch the cars pass.

“Listen, he could still come around. Jimin comes out of the military in June,” Hobi tried to look at the positives.

“Mhm. And if he doesn’t talk to you, we’ll hold it over him for the rest of his days,” Jin said, nodding securely as if that was the final decision.

I chuckled quietly and nodded at their statements, though I wasn’t sure how true they would reign. Would Jimin want to talk after the military? Could this be fixed or am I fooling myself?

I sighed, “I guess we’ll see…”

Part 3

[dykedvonte]

You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.

-Shrimp Anon

The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.

Get ready cause this is a yap session:

Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.

I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.

The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.

This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.

Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...

These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.

I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.

Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.

It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.

I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.

It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.

There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.

End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.

[transchrisredfield]

There's so many options for building a character in Baldur's Gate 3 that I'm legitimately overwhelmed with who my starting character is going to be. I want to play as so many different things but I can only play the game blind once and who I play as will shape how I experience that. It's a good problem to have.

[sysig]

VUXPet (Patreon)

[morningmask27]

I'm going to be bitching about Star for a while now. I'll tag them all with #asc spoilers, but really what the fuck was this book?

[neverendingford]

.

[mrfoox]

except that im mentally dead, i’m good

[arolesbianism]

Ohhhh no it just occured to me that Im probably gonna be seeing a unbearable hoard of bad aro hcs in the dst tag this month huh. Uhhhh gentle reminder that just because Wx used to be human doesn't make hcing them as aro risk free pls be careful with that. Aro ppl who hc them as aro ur fine keep up the good work 👍

[unproduciblesmackdown]

being alive at the time i gleaned some general elements abt encanto but never actually heard we don't talk about bruno beyond awareness it existed popping off & i think i heard like the title recited off key off rhythm but in a way that indicates speak singing nonetheless lol so upon experiencing it it's like oh but it's the Verses? while the last refrain goes harder but prior to that it's comparatively underwhelming to said verses which feels appropriate like verses / pieces of a larger picture & that a "we don't talk about him" as a disappointing Lid on infinitely richer more characterful & dynamic "but: talking about him" instances. like well personally it'd be like um seven foot frame....anyway besides being able to firsthand go like oh damn Real (the kind of thing you know exists if alive at the time) it's like alright hang on lol. one thing when a core theme is yeah like "is it a refuge if 'especial' vulnerability ultimately gets pushed out rather than made safer" subset like the parties whose even observation of truths (problems) & drawing attention to them is seen as Ruining Things, like if you're painted as Making futures that aren't simply what's desired or reassuring rather than a guidance via just observing & sharing the truth. but then it's like whaddaya mean living in fear of bruno stuttering and stumbling you could always hear him sort of muttering and mumbling lmao like now that's just Association between the Truth Perceiving & Telling behavior & behavior that's just apparently distinctive of the same person. & like Not Accidentally when [what if people were magic] specifics are obviously primarily abt a metaphorical meaning & like, indeed it was made clear like oh this situation isn't Just b/c [boo we hate your prophecies] & that [an Ability that isn't directed towards what anyone Wants / is "weird" even by these magic standards] isn't Coincidentally given to someone who just so happens to already be "weird" in other ways & be set up to have a different perspective & be pushed away due to having the supposed "extra" vulnerability of unmet needs / insufficient support, same as someone who doesn't "correctly" have any kind of magic ability....like yeah banger and also like Oh Yeah Kind Of Devastating re: that metaphorical resonance allowing for like [set the metaphor aside] now hang on with this about this disabled family member lol. misinterpretation to The Ruinerrr / The Problemmm / The Maliciousss etc (i.e. the scapegoatinggg) despite their efforts likely entirely to the contrary. then despite like, efforts aside, Just Existing, always kind of muttering & mumbling like & what of it. & then like oh sorry weird pets. weird [auspicious for adaptable tenacious thriving surviving; either way simply creatures, existing] pets.

truly like As Is The Idea I'm Sure quickly becomes like hands behind back standing at the window Uh Oh Sisters musing on all the [disabled person] metaphorical & already literal elements there. blair witching it in contemplation like We've All Been There whether being so resented for the mere disruption of "existing in a group as the 'abnormal' odd one out" or like people talking shit abt anything associated w/you as soon as you've left the room, which is also made relevant like, this wasn't Only directed at this person when seemingly permanently gone, nor were they unaware / unaffected prior....pacing in the Musing parlor like things don't Have to be compared to billions but i only ever even see so many things & it's like billions sure is like "get scapegoated rword" & then said scapegoating is presented as only beneficial & we hate autists & even beyond that it's like, grabbing billions, Imagine If Things Meant To Be About Something Were About Something. quite a contrast when they are & furthermore like, deliberate thought & Care for [who gets scapegoated & why] & the truth of like, people getting pushed aside & out who have a key perspective & are primed / liable to come through for others similarly vulnerable & the supposedly Ruinous, Problems Generating disruptiveness is actually the strongest effort to make essential changes to a group. & come through with like, it'd be undermining thee point if it was "reassuring" us like oh haha people will be supportive b/c bruno will be more normal, so great that it Didn't like no, no Normality Reassurance(tm), presence of abnormalities(tm), Good, & everyone Can Deal b/c if you don't then it's pushing this person away, is exactly what happens, including even if they're still Around but are being mistreated b/c that is entirely part of that pushing away like anyone's victim blaming is ready to pounce at any time but if someone can't stand to stay / leaves b/c they can't see another option like that's not out of nowhere nor Regardless of what full support & flexibility they were getting lol. these Active Measures everyone loves so much, which are everywhere always & would include Staying & Trying To Make It Work & those efforts would be "disruptive" & resented & Bringing It On Oneself & etccc smh

that is to all say like. Woww when clearly basically the core thread was these beats of like, the crucial site of [thee scapegoated], & why that comes down on someone & how that plays out. endless ideas about how someone weird(tm) & disabled (&/or queer. but there's no Or here lol. & again like it's a Context like, to even be the one person without kids? likely not living up to "full" correct sexuality in that way alone; any oppression's logics of "inferiority" being logics of ableism, ready examples being that "inferior" race, gender, sexuality (& their experiences as people classed as inferior) all being pathologized as disordered) are seen & treated as someone Ruining Things & who cannot belong like whew. bracing. winding. which, i also recall like i was watching with headphones & during this one dialogue pause i was like "?? what's this Extra Sound i heard there" & had to go over it like twice before being hit upside the head like well it Was still the dialogue pause but it was also bruno Stuttering in a very quiet whisper for the duration of that pause before continuing like iiiiiiii x_x

[bookcub]

Cozy Fantasy and Why It Doesn't Work

I think I am among many who feel like they should love cozy fantasy and have found it an incredibly lacking genre.

This newly branded "cozy fantasy" genre that has taken readers by storm since 2020 and while it is new that books are now marketed as cozy, the genre itself isn't new. Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones is a great example of the genre before it was labeled and also how to make it work.

Cozy fantasy is defined by many as fantasy with low stakes. Fantasy aesthetic but less sword fights. On paper, it sounds great. But the execution has been less than stellar for readers like me. The lack of physical stakes has also impacted the emotional stakes of these books, creating forgettable characters with boring problems. As a romance reader, I find this frustrating. Romance is known for being a predictable and formulaic genre, the now defunct Romance Writers of America defined romances as needing happy endings, a term romances have continued to follow. Yet these romance texts manage to have low physical stakes (how to date your neighbor, how to confront your toxic friends, etc) while still maintaining high personal stakes that keep readers invested and begging for more. So I was initially confused why cozy fantasy authors struggle to write texts that connect to readers like me.

I think I have found the answer which is the genre is just here for vibes. It is all about aesthetic, not even worldbuilding that fantasy is known for as most cozy fantasy I read have so many problems as soon as you ask one question. It is hard to acknowledge that a genre that is pitched to work for readers like me doesn't work for many of us. Especially because occasionally there is one that works beautifully to my taste.

I often say my favorite cozy fantasies that are more contemporary are short and visual, which I plays into the idea of the genre being an aesthetic. The Bakery Dragon by Devin Elle Kurtz is a good example because it is a simple story that is given the perfect amount of pages and gorgeous visuals without dragging on when the message is very clear and easy to understand. Books like The Phoenix Keeper and Legends and Lattes have absolutely nothing for me, their very clear message hitting the reader over and over so the readers don't miss it and focusing on the aesthetic of worldbuilding rather than the reality of the fantastic elements within the world.

I guess my point is. . . I realize this genre isn't for me since I have realized it is more of an aesthetic than anything. .. .but I want it to be. Should I let it go and put my efforts elsewhere? Or should I keep exploring this new trend and find the hidden gems?

[cobaltfluff]

rip... iceado....

[luvsavos]

life kicks me in the ribs yet again: more than likely i won't be able to get all the money i need in time for the alatreon model, so. got excited for nothing :)

[mad-hunts]

as far as jack could tell, jervis was really out of it; and it made him wonder it was due to something that had happened while he was out with his father, or when they'd gotten here. perhaps both. jack gnawed on his bottom lip, his eyes darting to jervis's hands, which were flexing like he was struggling with something. an eyebrow rose as jack contemplated asking whether he needed some pain medication.

since he didn't receive an answer to his question yet, jack figured he might as well introduce himself. ❝ uhh, well, you don't have to talk to me if you aren't feeling up to it. my sister told me that you fainted in front of her out there — so, i understand if you're still feeling sick. my name is jack, ❞ he scratched at the back of his neck as he continued to observe jervis. whenever the man tried to get up, jack approached him and was about to caution jervis that maybe he shouldn't by lightly touching his shoulder.

but he remembered matilda telling him something about the other really not liking to be touched, so he merely was going to verbally tell him. up until jervis laid back down himself, anyhow. jack couldn't hold himself back from frowning at his poor present state before venturing out of the room with a 'i'll be right back.' and indeed he had been, with two different vials, alongside a few syringes to inject into that IV bag: should jervis want to be medicated. jack figured it'd be easier to just do that rather than forcing him to swallow anything.

he placed those also on the table before tilting his head at the quote jervis had said until it clicked a few seconds later, ❝ that's a quote from through the looking glass, isn't it? and one that the red queen said in the story if i remember correctly. she was basically teaching alice that staying in the same place is falling behind, right? ❞ jack squinted his eyes at that before a thought came to mind. a soft snort left him, but one that was done of an innocent sort of amusement rather than malice. ❝ that is a kind of roundabout way of talking about survival of the fittest. but hey, lewis carroll was all about the whimsy of things, i guess. and its no big deal. ❞

jack pretended not to see the tears that the other shed for jervis's own sake. the blood on his lips was something he couldn't ignore, no matter how hard he tried, though. jack grabbed a washcloth from his pack and held it out towards's jervis's hand. once it was out of his hand was when jack set down that teacup, the slightly too long stripped pants he wore swaying across the ground. ❝ mm, you and dad were both asleep for nearly four hours. sure — i don't think that's silly at all. i keep something on me all the time from when my brother, julien, was still around. ❞ the bracelet he showed the other on his right wrist then seemed to be made up entirely of tiny conch shells.

julien was a big fan of the sea, which jack thought made his death all the more crushing. after seeing the state that the stuffed animal was in, he figured that that bunny must've been really loved; though it didn't really matter by whom it was. the end result was the same, as love changes you. jack knew this well as he'd never wanted anything more than to be embraced by the warmth of it.

he quickly shook that thought off, only to grab the two vials he got from the fridge once more. ❝ eh... the four hours actually went by rather fast. ❞ jack cleared his throat then, ❝ you know, i couldn't help but notice that you aren't looking so hot still, and so i grabbed some meds for you. but i won't force you to take them. i have a pain reliever as well as something that relieves vertigo. are either, or both of these, something you want? ❞

Eigengrau.

A faint hum buzzed in his ears; his mouth was so dry it felt like he’d swallowed a wad of wool.

The thin sheet beneath him brushed his fingertips as Jervis flexed his hands, cracking his eyes open a sliver. The room tilted, everything blurring at the edges. Ah… so he had fainted. Just as he’d suspected. No glasses, then.

"Hey. Ahh, you're awake… That's awesome. How are you feeling?"

The new voice was barely a whisper, young and uncertain—belonging to a boy, maybe sixteen or eighteen by the timber. Was this another of Barton's assistants, a friend of Matilda’s, or perhaps her brother? Jervis couldn’t quite remember; hadn't Barton mentioned something about having more than one child?

He winced, his body feeling heavy, leaden; aching everywhere. Slowly, he exhaled and tried to push himself upright—tried being the keyword. The effort brought only a wave of vertigo, dizzying and blue-hot, making his vision swim.

… ohh, god…

He swallowed thickly, curling into himself. Something wasn’t right. His glasses and gloves weren’t the only thing missing. He was in his socks, jeans, and a now damp charcoal t-shirt, his body slick with cold sweat. His graying auburn curls clung to his neck in tangled ropes. His boots were beside the cot, his messenger bag on a desk across the room. His overcoat and maroon button-down were draped over a chair.

A flicker of discomfort in his right arm. Burning. Tugging.

Jervis glanced down at the source: a plastic tube. A peripheral IV catheter.

"Ah, you know... 'It takes all the running you can do, to stay in the same place,'" he muttered, his voice clipped and hollow; Bermudian accent casual, almost detached. He turned his eyes to the boy; offered him a faint, strained smile. "Keeps things interesting, I suppose... but I appreciate your concern, lad."

He lifted his fingers to his cheek, feeling the moisture trickle down—salt on his lips. Tears, sharp and stinging. Jervis flinched and quickly scrubbed them away with the heels of his hands.

Cold metal pressed into his spine, tight around his neck—the chain with his and Sylvie’s wedding rings twisted against his skin. He must’ve been thrashing in his sleep. There was blood on his lips.

"Forgive me…" His vision swam as he watched the boy set a teacup on the small table beside the cot, just within view. "But I'm afraid I've rather lost my sense of time. How long has it been since I…?" He paused, his voice barely steady. "... if... if you don’t mind, could you please reach into my coat pocket? You'll find a small cuddly toy. A rabbit..." He rubbed his mouth, lowered his eyes. "It sounds foolish, I know... but it... it was my daughter's, you see..."

The boy nodded, moving quickly to retrieve the toy from Jervis’ coat pocket, and placed it on the table beside the teacup. The bunny was missing one of its button eyes, its white fur faded and matted. A pink satin ribbon around its neck was frayed and tattered.

“Thank you,” Jervis said hoarsely. “I must have been out of it for quite a while.”

[k0mmari]

SYSTEM! SHEN YUAN AU (Pt.2)

Pt.1

Im not done with this, so to the people that wanted more, here it is! I, fortunately or not, have thought way too much again, so once more this is going to be a very, very, VERY long post. If you guys have any ideas about this btw, please do share them! I really am just letting my mind wander a bit more than usual, so maybe someone else can have more structured thoughts than me lol. (Fair warning, there probably will be plot holes, so sorry in advance!)

Please read Pt.1 if you haven't, or this won't make any sense!

After SY warped away from his impromptu meeting with Binghe, the last place he would like to end up would be even deeper into the Endless Abyss, but according to his System, the next piece of the virus was here. While not happy, since his Personal System was (mostly) working as intended, SY managed to activate Ghost Mode and walk towards the next part without having to deal with any of the creatures down there. (He had to try very hard not to get distracted by the monsters, lest his supervisor thinks he also went missing.)

It takes considerably more time to find the virus this time, so much in fact, SY starts to recognize his surroundings from SQH's ramblings (not that he was interested or anything), and he feels a cold sense of dread running down his spine. There was no way he was that unlucky that the object that got corrupted this time was-

He was that unlocky. Lo and behold, after entering a run down ruin, SY is faced with the legendary Xin Mo, power so overwhelming it manifested as dark fire covering the blade. The only reason why SY wasn't immediately writhing on the ground from the sword's power was Ghost Mode, which he could not rely for too long, as his Personal System was displaying warning after warning about Possibility of Corruption and God Like Plot Point. It all meant that SY was on a timer, and if he took too long, the sword would start corrupting his System, which in turn could corrupt him.

Now, since this was a VERY important Plot Point, Luo Binghe had to find Xin Mo or else the plot would derail to an unfixable degree, SY couldn't just snip at it, which was a problem, since manual debugging took a considerably longer time! Still, he summons his Scissors and positions it so he can start at least trimming off the virus.

His plan immediately backfires however, as an ominous crack sounds through the air and he's suddenly pushed away from the sword by a gust of energy. A bit disoriented, he shakes his head and acesses the sit-

Xin Mo, the horrible sword it was, was apparently so OP that it seemed to detect the Scissors at the last second, and the thing attacked back! The metal of the Scissors was dark and broken where it came close to the sword, almost broken in half! Which, not good! It any other time, a pair of broken Debugging Sheers would be more or less fine, if not a major inconvinience (and pay deduction) for SY, but since he'd been warping all over the time for a while now, his Personal System's energy reserves were carefully rationed, and if he were to use a chunk to send the Scissors back for some emergency repair, he'd only have one chance to go back to HQ. Alone.

He couldn't delay it any longer, he desperately needed to find SQH and pray he still had some energy reserves left.

Setting his Personal System's next warp location to SQH's last known location, SY wouldn't have guessed in a million years that he would go back to Cang Qiong Mountain, but whatever; maybe SQH had wanted to start with fixing the bug on Binghe's pendant? Not that this was the right time since it was after Binghe fell into the Abyss, but SQH had never been good at warping. It takes a bit of wandering and going inside different buildings, but eventually his Personal System managed to get a dirrect ping on SQH's System, which sent a massive wave of relief rushing through SY, since it meant that SQH was still slive.

Though as to why he was at An Ding Peak, SY could only guess.

After a bit more wandering, SY enters on what seems to be a (very messy) office space, SY feels all the pieces coming together in his mind. Half sprawled across the table with piles of paper covering the entire table's surface lay the An Ding Peak Lord, which- was already weird, since wasn't this guy supposed to be an enemy of the Peak now? After the whole betrayal thing or whatever? But that would've been something to look into later, were it not for said Peak Lord casually scrolling through a Personal System screen. A Personal System that could only be used by the System's Maintanence Staff.

SY wastes no time in deactivating Ghost Mode, and when SQH's eyes snap to his, the man jumps so high from his chair he almost falls back. It's not a happy reunion by a longshot, since SY immediately jumped his friend co-worker and demanded an explaination, almost screaming about it was all his fault for doing shitty maintenence, and creating this shitty world if it's shitty OP sword which broke his Sheers? Do you know how expensive these are?? I know you do, cause the supervisor never lets you touch the good ones cause you keep cracking all the other pairs-

It takes a more or less one whole hour to calm down SY, but eventually the younger settled and lets SQH say his bit of the story: Apparently, in his messing around with the System's world creation program when he was trying to find the bug in his world, he'd accidentaly managed to get himself actually transmigrated to PIDW, though still with (limited) acess to his Personal System, which let him still send messages to their supervisor and pretend that everything was ok. He'd gotten so unlucky too! Out of all the people to accidentaly select, did it have to be the An Ding Peak Lord? Couldn't it have been Binghe? Or MBJ- (SQH cuts his lamenting when he notices SY's absolutely viscious death glare being stared right through his soul.)

Long story short, he'd initially did try to fix his blunder, but as more time passed and SQH's access to Maintenance priviledges went out one by one on his System, he eventually just... Started actually living there. In fact, he was living so well there that he dared say his life as Peak Lord was even better then when he was with the System! Of course, since he had been integrated as a 'character' now, he had his limitations, he actually managed to get to know his fellow peak lords! He knew the name of his character's family members and his disciples! He'd managed to build a life he never even thought he could have inside the System.

Sure, did he betray the Peak? Yes, yes he did. Were they all going to die in a few years time when Binghe came back from hell? Yeah, yeah they were, and he was immensely guilty and terrified, but! The plot could be changed! He already assumed someone from the System had popped up in the Conference, as when Binghe had recently made his alliance with MBJ, and had mentioned in passing this weird thing that had happened to him just before he fell into the Abyss.

Anyways, eventually SY begrudgingly accepts SQH's decision to stay in PIDW, but he still had to help SY; and so they form a plan: SY was going to transfer some energy to SQH so he could temporarily get his acess to the full version of his Personal System and use his energy reserves to send SY's Sheers and get them fixed. SQH was also going to properly apologize to their supervisor for suddenly quitting without notice AND order some more energy stacks to be sent to SY's System. SY on the other hand had devises a plan to get closer to XIn Mo without the sword exploding his face off:

Infiltrate Demon Emperor Luo Binghe's palace as a lowly staff member and slowly debug the sword from the inside.

A perfect plan! What could go wrong?

SY selects to warp to a time where Binghe had Xin Mo mostly in control, so it is to no surprise he warps to a place were the Demonic Emperor's Palace is absolutely filled with women. Not the best situation, since a lot of people could and probably would be able to see him, but with that many harem members, it wasn't too much of a stretch to assume there was also a considerable number of staff, which, to SY's luck, there was! In fact, after he managed to activate a disguise for his clothes so they matched the rest of the servants, no one bat an eye on his presence; at most someone would inquire about his short hair, but other than that he was as noteable as a fly.

The first phase of his plan was already a success, so now he had to move on to reconnaissance which was mostly easy and the worst thing in his life. He was mostly looking for Binghe's quarters could be as he probably kept the sword close to him at all times, though with how big the palace was, his objective had gradually shifted to mapping out the labyrinth of halls as much as possible (SY was very glad that the System allowed him to create a map in real time or he might have gotten lost in the first five minutes). He walks so much he even manages to catch a few pieces of gossip, though the most interesting one by far being one about Binghe:

Apparently, a year ago, the Emperor had a qi deviation where, for a day, he seemed to have completely shifted his personality; he refused to touch any of his wives and kept screaming for his long dead Shizun. SY doesn't really remember that plot point, though his wondering is cut short when he hears people walking towards his direction. instinctively he his behind a dark corner, momentarily forgetting that he 'worked' at the palace now.

At list his bad luck was finally turning over as the Golden Protagonist himself walked past him with one of his wives hanging off his arm, looking just as cool as SY had always imagined. He had to snap himself out of his stuppor though, as two things caught his attention: First, Xin Mo was, predictably, strapped to his waist, still glitched but at least the virus seemed more or less contained, which gave SY a bit more time to work, though the other thing he noticed...

Hanging onto an old-looking braid laid SY's missing tassle that Binghe had found for him all the way back at the Conference.

What the hell was Luo Binghe doing wearing that old tassle at this day and age??

A few days passed and the Tassle Incident (as he called it) had to be set aside, as it seemed that passing as a servant also meant that other servants and even some wives expected SY to actually work. Not great, he sucked at cleaning and the other servants spared no words to make it clear to him, but it at least gave him something to do while he waited for his Scissors to arrive. SQH had sent him a few messages saying he'd gotten his part of the deal done, so now all SY could do was monitor Xin Mo's condition (from very far away), and occasionally manually debug some small virus pieces that had fallen from the sword, which luckily were easy enough to deal with that he didn't need to cut them off.

The only thing that was worrying him now is how... odd Luo Binghe seemed. Of course, he was supposed to be the pinnacle of the Cool Guy trope, so some edginess was to be expected, but Binghe didn't look just Edgy, he looked straight up depressed. There were bags under his eyes, and he barely seemed to tolerate the presence of 99% of his wives, and that damned braid with the damned tassle was still there-

Point is, Binghe acting so weird really threw SY through a loop, and he may have gotten a bit careless. At a random day when SY was carrying some dirty laundry another servant had just shoved at him, he had no prior warning before a voice sounded from behind him: "You seem to have dropped something."

He barely managed to shake off the violent sense of deja-vu that had sucker punched him in the face before he realized what was happening; Luo Binghe was talking to him. Directly to him. Shit- shit! Did he notice? Was Binghe doing a clever call back, spider-man style?? Was SY going to die????

SY shakily turns to Binghe, keeping his eyes locked onto the floor, bowing as much as possible that he still seemed respectful but the bag of clothes he had didn't all just fall to the floor. Thankfully Binghe didn't seem to mind, and simply put the fallen piece of clothing on top of the others and walked away. Though, just as SY was regaining his breath, Luo Binghe's voice stops him again. "You... Have we met before?"

SY trembles something about only being hired recently and not having the opportunity to formaly meet Junshang, and it seems to be a decent enough that Binghe just stares at him for a while longer before walking away. He really should grow out his hair if even the Emperor got weirded out like that...

Binghe started eyeing SY way more after that day. The protagonist would rarely speak directly to him, but SY could feel his gaze as if it were burning; though, since Binghe never said anything, SY just assumed that whatever Binghe's problem with him was, it was likely nothing to worry about.

In fact, it probably was because one of Binghe's wives had used SY is an impromptu act to try to get Binghe jealous (he just frowned, separated the two and walked away) and after that she had gotten infatuated with him, so she'd turned SY into her personal servant. Because of that SY saw Binghe at most two times a week instead of the 50% chnace of seeing his shadow once a week. Wow.

Because of this, as much as Binghe noticed SY, SY noticed Binghe as well, the protagonist seeming to get even more down as the days went. The tassle was still braided in his hair (SY worried it was just going to become a lock at this point), his eyebags never seemed to leave his eyes, and he was always muttering about... something. (SY managed to overhear something about 'fairness' and what Binghe actually wanted...?)

It all culminated at a seemingly random night. Most of the wives and servants had gone to sleep, only the more in-human women still hanging around, and SY, of course, but mostly it was because he wanted to see how close he could get to Binghe's quarters (aka Xin Mo) at night. Not that it was necessary, as when he was walking his attention was adruptly caught by the strangest sight: Luo binghe, sitting on one of the stone stair that lead to one of the many courtyards, being absolutely drenched in rain. The weirdest part was that a few servants and wives had also passed this place, and they all seemed like they didn't see Binghe, or didn't care.

Hating to see such an usually proud man (not that he'd seen much of that either) just soaking outside as if he'd just caught the love of his life cheating with another man, SY decided that at least he'd do a good job as a servant and take care of 'his Lord'. He grabs an umbrella from one of the adjacent rooms and slowly walks outside, covering Luo Binghe's form, not really caring if he was also getting soaked.

They stayed silent for who knows how long, but eventually, Binghe's eyes that had been laser focused on the horizon slowly blink once, as if coming out of a trance, and slowly move to SY's face, up to his hand holding the umbrella. "My Lord should get back inside. He'll get sick that way." SY half murmurs.

Binghe doesn't respond, though after a few seconds, his eyes seem to widen a bit and his breath comes out a little shaky. SY doesn't dare comment on it.

"Have we met before?" Luo Binghe asks again.

"...Yes." Shen Yuan says.

Binghe closes his eyes, and they stay like that for another hour.

Pt.3

[starswallowingsea]

okay i decided to do a random number generator and some tarot cards so uhm. lets see. this is just spitballing ideas under the cut btw not an actual fic

for the characters i got yuzuru and mao, and i pulled the chariot, the three of swords, and the magician. so i think this is a deviation from the canon of the game in the ! era, at least in my mind, though i'd need to read more trickstar and fine stories to really do this idea justice and clean it up so just take this as me word vomiting a plot onto a post.

there are minor parallels between mao and yuzuru and their roles in their respective units, given that both of them take on more work than they should and are in the student council, combined with yuzuru's being tori's butler. they get along well enough and mao calls yuzuru by his given name now so its not like they get along poorly. this is all i have gathered just from quickly skimming mao's wiki page and their section on the relationships page.

i think...this fic would be a deviation from the canon in that trickstar doesnt come out on top and are defeated by fine and their counterparts from it (ie hokuto and eichi, wataru and subaru?, mao and yuzuru and i guess that leaves makoto and tori but i am not versed in trickstar lore very well so take this with a mountain of salt i never said this was going to be good) but which happens after they have developed this relationship where at least mao consideres yuzuru a friend and now that's just. shattered.

yuzuru doesn't necessarily realize in the moment what their relationship was to him until its broken before him on the stage as he pushes forward with fine until the very end, and it sinks in a little afterwards, maybe a few days, when mao is suddenly very very cold to him at the student council meetings. whatever amiability there had been before is gone, and there's no getting it back any time soon.